“Spend these three years carefully; you’ll see each day flashing in front of your eyes at the end of these three years.”
I was given this advice when I started college. I am not proud of how well I have followed it.
I had my list of dreams and a bucket list tucked in a suitcase, but I am afraid that I left most of them in there. I abstained myself: I was too scared to do everything I wanted.
The regret of not getting into my dream college bugged me so much that I failed to live. I am not satisfied with myself, and I am not going to make it appear otherwise. Yes, this is not a sequel pretentious optimistic post and the reader has been warned.This post is my heart crying out.
I decided in Class 4 that I wanted to become a writer. And I henceforth decided that I wanted to be an entrepreneur. But I had enough excuses to stop myself from doing anything at all that would bring me closer to any of my goals. Not enough time, no good phone, “what if they hate me?”, exams this month, this isn’t good enough an idea, no vehicle, not enough finances, no laptop, now that I have a laptop I don’t have good internet, I’m completely useless, and the list goes on.
One thing I’ve realized is that there is no end to excuses. Period.
The only reason I am not what I wanted to be is that I have not tried. Today is the first day of the rest of my life!
After tens of unfinished drafts, a couple of hours of cyber stalking, and several cups of tea, I am closing this blog. It was started with a lot of people-pleasing and people-appeasing emotions which never allowed me to write what I really wanted. Every line I ever wrote was rewrote with the people centric thought: would they like it? This blog has never been me.
If there’s one thing I’ve realized, it is that trying to appease a few people usually provokes others in ways I’d never thought possible. That, coupled with the fear of failing, has made me abstain myself.
But no more. :)
A big thank you to all those who have followed me! I shall be back better and finer.
Bonus: This Switchfoot song. (I am not going to describe it, you just gotta listen to it.)